That Time I Tried to Eat a Half-Pound Cookie at The Polite Pig
"Lime Garage! Lime Garaaaage!"
The tune to the aptly named "Lime Garage" is a bit punk and typically gets me pumped for a few hours of dining and shopping at Disney Springs. I always park at the Lime Garage, for reasons unknown, even to myself.
I was still bopping around to my own voice last Sunday when I stepped into The Polite Pig.
This was my first visit, even though I'd passed by dozens of times... it's right by the Lime Garage entrance to the new Marketplace area. I'm not much for smoked meats, which The Polite Pig is known for, but I always partook of the free smells as I passed by.
But I had just received a hot tip about The Polite Pig menu: They had a half-pound chocolate chip cookie from Gideon's Bakehouse.
Gideon's Bakehouse Cookie at The Polite Pig
Gideon's boasts a 100-year-old secret family recipe for these monstrous delights, and they're only available in two places in the world: Gideon's Bakehouse in Orlando, and The Polite Pig in Disney Springs.
I knew this cookie was large, but I didn't realize just how dense it was until I broke it apart. This cookie is more like a hunk of edible cookie dough. I could not believe my luck.
This cookie is a best-kept secret situation. If people knew there was a portable chunk of cookie dough to tote around Disney Springs, there'd be a little paper bag emblazoned with a 'G' in everyone's hands. Maybe it needs to evolve Mickey ears before it hits their radar, I dunno.
Now, some of you might be into fully-baked cake-like cookies, but I'm trying to cut down on processed foods. So in that spirit, let's remove too much baking from the cookie process! This is the rationalization level I'm operating on, here.
The chocolate chips in Gideon's cookie are like squashed Hershey's Kisses, and the doughy mixture struggling to hold them all together has just the right amount of vanilla subtext. While this means it's delicious, it also translates into very rich. It's a half-pound for a reason: there's no air in this thing. It's a solid mass of sugar and dreams.
Do not attempt to eat this cookie on your own.
Use the buddy system. Bring your mom. Phone a friend. Figure something out, because this is a snack experience built for two (or three. or four). Here's why:
- They are $8 each. A $4 snack per person is much more manageable (even at Disney)
- It's too much cookie for one digestive system. There are more glamorous ways to leave this world.
- You need a friend there to help you clean up the chocolate on your face. And hands. And phone. And the chair.
- It's tough to save something this melty for later, especially in the heart of Florida, so if you think you're going to carry this around as leftovers, you truly live on the edge, my friend.
Now, part of reviewing foods is having to take lots of interesting photos, so you might not get as much chocolate everywhere like I did. Of course, I tend to eat like Cookie Monster, so I was surely doomed either way.
After a few bites, I couldn't take anymore. This cookie is a challenge, and I failed spectacularly. I extracted some chocolate from my hair and called it quits.
With a Fast Pass for Kali River Rapids on the agenda, I wisely pushed a quarter pound of cookie toward my kids.
Gideon's Bakehouse Chocolate Chip Cookie is available for $8 at The Polite Pig in Disney Springs. I was handed a free cookie to try for this review.
Have you tried anything so monstrous? Follow me on Instagram and tell me about it!